Here we give an exclusive extract from the first section:
This paper will take the divine signs found in chapter 23 verses 12 to 14, and provide a seemingly endless linguistic breakdown tortuously correlating each key word with modern embryology.
We created man from an essence of clay, then We placed him as aWe created man from an essence of clay
drop of fluid in a safe place. Then We made that drop of fluid into a
clinging form, and then We made that form into a lump of flesh, and
We made that lump into bones, and We clothed those bones with
flesh, and later We made him into other forms. Glory be to God the
best of creators
By applying a scientific analysis (!) to this verse and by saying in ten pages what it would take any normal person ten words, I will prove by a process of verbal attrition that black is white and a spade is a manual earth-inverting implement.
Let us thus begin with "clay". Allah miraculously draws a comparison here between hydrated silicates of aluminium ... and oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. Hmm. Oh dear...
Let's leave the science to one side on this one, because as we know (because I wrote it), "science has limited scope" and "the view that we should believe only what can be proven scientifically, is self-defeating". Instead let us wonder at how these verses "convey the intended meaning using the briefest of speech" - if only I could do the same!
But the body isn't made of clay, Hammy!
Some silly people may say that the human body is not made of clay. This just shows how they haven't read the verse properly and that their misconception stems from a misunderstanding of the Arabic language, which (luckily for me!) is strangely difficult to pin down. sulaaalah means extract or essence - in other words the chemicals in clay. Simples!
Prometheus and other clay myths - oops!
Now fortunately, I haven't seen fit to mention Prometheus in my paper, who in Greek mythology is credited with the creation of man from clay. Nor have I said anything about the plethora of ancient myths all referring to Gods fashioning man from clay (Presumably these myths arose all over the world because it seemed logical if you saw things fashioned from clay every day to imagine the gods doing something similar). I don't really know what to say to this one, since it rather awkwardly points to Muhammad recycling ancient myths. So I'll just ignore it.
Oops! Hammy trips over his own bullsh*t - again...
Next time on Hammy's Proofs of Miracles in the Qur'an: "A drop of fluid".