Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Proof of Miracle in Qur'an - Embryology - By Hammy Tortoise Pt 1

Stop Press! Hammy Tortoise from the iBsU (Islamic Bullsh*t Unit) (formerly iERA) has completed the long awaited research paper on Embryology in the Qur’an.
Here we give an exclusive extract from the first section:
This paper will take the divine signs found in chapter 23 verses 12 to 14, and provide a seemingly endless linguistic breakdown tortuously correlating each key word  with modern embryology.
We created man from an essence of clay, then We placed him as a
drop of fluid in a safe place. Then We made that drop of fluid into a
clinging form, and then We made that form into a lump of flesh, and
We made that lump into bones, and We clothed those bones with
flesh, and later We made him into other forms. Glory be to God the
best of creators
We created man from an essence of clay
By applying a scientific analysis (!) to this verse and by saying in ten pages what it would take any normal person ten words, I will prove by a process of verbal attrition that black is white and a spade is a manual earth-inverting implement. 
Let us thus begin with "clay". Allah miraculously draws a comparison here between hydrated silicates of aluminium ... and oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. Hmm. Oh dear...
Let's leave the science to one side on this one, because as we know (because I wrote it), "science has limited scope" and "the view that we should believe only what can be proven scientifically, is self-defeating". Instead let us wonder at how these verses "convey the intended meaning using the briefest of speech" - if only I could do the same! 

But the body isn't made of clay, Hammy!
Some silly people may say that the human body is not made of clay. This just shows how they haven't read the verse properly and that their misconception stems from a misunderstanding of the Arabic language, which (luckily for me!) is strangely difficult to pin down. sulaaalah  means extract or essence - in other words the chemicals in clay. Simples!

Prometheus and other clay myths - oops!
Now fortunately, I haven't seen fit to mention Prometheus in my paper, who in Greek mythology is credited with the creation of man from clay. Nor have I said anything about the plethora of ancient myths all referring to Gods fashioning man from clay (Presumably these myths arose all over the world because it seemed logical if you saw things fashioned from clay every day to imagine the gods doing something similar). I don't really know what to say to this one, since it rather awkwardly points to Muhammad recycling ancient myths. So I'll just ignore it.

Oops! Hammy trips over his own bullsh*t - again...
Next time on Hammy's Proofs of Miracles in the Qur'an:  "A drop of fluid".


  1. I am looking forward to what you will have to say about the rest of his ridiculous paper.
    It's bout time someone took Hamza to task for his faux-erudite, mock-scientific clap-trap.

  2. Good stuff! By bizarre coincidence I was yesterday helping a certain youtuber finalize the clay section of his own demolition of Hamza's paper. It's got some great points. If it were nut fah Hamza's incompetence, Islamic embryology would have escaped much recent criticism!


  3. It's really amazing how many Muslims truly believe that embryology in the Qur'an could only be something that points to divine revelation. I was once one of them.

    Also the number of converts that were originally lured by the propaganda of this and other miraculous science in the book. And when you witness many westerners coming to Islam indicating that the divine science was a major factor, it only strengthens the existing Muslims' faith.

    Many are fooled by the so called reputable scientists that support embryology and other sciences in the Qur'an not knowing that some had ulterior motives and others were quoted out of context.

  4. I shall see you in court!